En Route Bullshit-ter

Work was due for submission, but yet, no matter how many times it was re-phrased, I couldn't help but felt it was a whole lot of bullshit in my head. Frustrated at the sub-standard of my work, a senior at the other workstation decided to draw my attention away from work by giving me some insights on her award-winning project.

As I listened to her share her project, I finally got to understand why I felt so much like a bullshit-ter as I plough through my work. For the simple fact - I did not believe in what I was doing. Like a chess piece, I was simply picking up work on a research that force-fed down my throat.

This realisation of me feeling bullshit-ty made me wonder about the path in which I've taken and am on now...did I sign up for all this just to be a bullshit-ter and work so hard on only to sound good on paper, but not really benefit my target audience? A mentor once said to me, true as it may be that we are bullshit-ting, but at times, this is what management requires us to deliver...

On my bus journey home, as I penned down my thoughts...I felt so strongly against all the bullshit-ting...but by the time I got home, I got kinda deflated and as the senior who shared with me her project had put it, I would have to make this research (a problem created out of air) my problem and see value in it.

How much I can survive in this bullshit arena I shall leave time & tide to decide. Till then.